Sex is destiny, biology is destiny... such complete and utter bs. Such anti-feminist thinking. I don't give a fuck which early and founding feminist writers made or make this claim, they are wrong.
To state that it is woman's ability to reproduce that makes her a woman is itself the promotion of patriarchal thinking. It not only denies the womanhood of trans women and implies the misgendering of trans men if they have functioning ovaries, uteri, and breasts, it also denies the womanhood of those who are post-menopausal, those who have ovaries, uteri, or breasts which do not function for child-bearing and/or nursing, those who do not bear children for whatever reasons, those who do not raise children, those who choose abortion and/or adoption rather than parenthood, those who for any of a zillion reasons do not or cannot become mothers by bearing children.
It is PATRIARCHY that places value on women based on a woman's ability to bear and raise children. As feminists, we need to not only examine and challenge our own internalized patriarchal thinking, we need to challenge it when we hear it from others. We need to defend those who need defending. I mean seriously, how fucked it is that I am allowed entrance into pretty much any women-only space I choose to enter simply because I was born with a vagina, how that is extended because I have born and am raising a child, while I don't even identify as a woman most of the time yet somebody who does identify as a woman could be denied entrance.. maybe because of her body parts, maybe because she has not born and/or is not raising children... has not raised children. Womanhood has NOTHING to do with what organs a person has or doesn't have, nor with how well they do or don't function in regards to childbearing.
Wednesday, December 26, 2012
Thursday, December 13, 2012
I originally wrote this as an email to somebody with whom I've been having conversations regarding a recent conflict I'd been part of in one of my communities. As I was finishing it I realized I had written way farther than I'd intended and it really didn't belong in the message. So instead I'm posting it here.
Trigger warning for raw emotions, references to transphobia, discussions of genitals, privilege, and all sorts of ugliness.
I think I've spent so long in a queer and trans positive bubble that I've forgotten how horrible most of the world is to trans people... I know it in a very abstract way, as in I am aware of how terribly trans women are treated, how unsafe the world is, I listen to trans women friends... but being in this bubble means my thinking isn't always as clear as it should be... for example, when I'm speaking of penises and privilege, it's men's penises I'm referring to not women's. To be blunt, I am afraid of cis men's penises. Literally. But not of trans women's. Maybe because I've spent enough time around trans women, come to understand enough to know that a trans woman has neither privilege nor power due to having a penis, only pain. And lately I've been sitting with my own journey of growth, and looking at it in relation to some of the radscum stuff that goes around, and I can see why some of my thoughts could cause fear... 'cause much of what I believe is only a step or two away from radfem, but it's a huge step. A lot of it has to do with the fact that I understand penis-fear. And it is only because I made a conscious decision years ago to not let that turn me into a transphobe that I'm not transphobic today. It is only because of my dear friend in high school, my trans woman friend, who shared with me her pain and grief when I was young enough that my walls of "this is who I am" were still very malleable... and even with all I know, I still after all these years have not been able to completely banish the fear... because the wounds were so deep. I'm not talking direct sexual assault abuse although there was that too, I'm talking that insidious cultural type abuse... and fair or not, the message was very clearly one of "you are lesser because you don't have a penis". It wasn't "lesser because you are a woman", it was very much about the penis. And yeah I've spent years half-assedly trying to deal with it, then when it was too big and I lost hope I retreated into drinking and partying because I could ignore it that way, didn't have to feel it, and could get along with more people. So now the fears are coming out (I'm told this is what happens in early sobriety, it all comes boiling over) and it is only because I refuse to allow my fears and wounds to lead me into oppressing anyone that I haven't fallen into what's now called radfem. So yeah the fears of whoever was having them are founded. BUT I can promise you that I would NEVER intentionally use them against anyone. If anything, my awareness of my own penis-phobia and inclination - again, out of fear and desire to run from the source of the fear - has led me to push for rights, protection, and access for trans women... maybe over-compensation for what part of me would like to do... to run away and be with people who I think are just like me... which is a lie... partly 'cause I'm not cis either and partly 'cause cis women are just as dangerous as anyone else... and I know better than any of this... but when I'm triggered, as I've been the past week or two over the frequent anti-feminist stuff I was seeing posted or reblogged by queers and GMs (mostly he/him/his queers and GMs from what I saw) that's the place I go... to a place of running away from all he/him/his people... and I bitch about the penises of he/him/his people but don't clarify that it's only the penises of he/him/his people not she/her/hers people... and I want to run away to be with only she/her/hers people... but don't clarify that I'm including trans women in there... because I'm triggered and being careless... and wow I didn't mean for this to be so intense.
So this was a deep piece... lots of thought mulling around... awakenings and deeper understandings of not only self but the world.
The back story is that I had posted some things to my facebook page that frightened another GM (gender minority person) because it seemed to them to be radfem. It was not written with that intent... at least not in any real way... but still had an impact on the person who read it. I'm still not clear of where the boundaries are... where is it a case of don't say this vs. deal with your triggers... or if there is a clear boundary... 'cause sometimes what is safety for one person is danger for another and vice versa... so for now I've taken a step out of that community until I get to know myself better... become more aware and stronger in my own truths, able to stand behind my truths while also being mindful of others' truths. That will be an adventure in and of itself.
Trigger warning for raw emotions, references to transphobia, discussions of genitals, privilege, and all sorts of ugliness.
I think I've spent so long in a queer and trans positive bubble that I've forgotten how horrible most of the world is to trans people... I know it in a very abstract way, as in I am aware of how terribly trans women are treated, how unsafe the world is, I listen to trans women friends... but being in this bubble means my thinking isn't always as clear as it should be... for example, when I'm speaking of penises and privilege, it's men's penises I'm referring to not women's. To be blunt, I am afraid of cis men's penises. Literally. But not of trans women's. Maybe because I've spent enough time around trans women, come to understand enough to know that a trans woman has neither privilege nor power due to having a penis, only pain. And lately I've been sitting with my own journey of growth, and looking at it in relation to some of the radscum stuff that goes around, and I can see why some of my thoughts could cause fear... 'cause much of what I believe is only a step or two away from radfem, but it's a huge step. A lot of it has to do with the fact that I understand penis-fear. And it is only because I made a conscious decision years ago to not let that turn me into a transphobe that I'm not transphobic today. It is only because of my dear friend in high school, my trans woman friend, who shared with me her pain and grief when I was young enough that my walls of "this is who I am" were still very malleable... and even with all I know, I still after all these years have not been able to completely banish the fear... because the wounds were so deep. I'm not talking direct sexual assault abuse although there was that too, I'm talking that insidious cultural type abuse... and fair or not, the message was very clearly one of "you are lesser because you don't have a penis". It wasn't "lesser because you are a woman", it was very much about the penis. And yeah I've spent years half-assedly trying to deal with it, then when it was too big and I lost hope I retreated into drinking and partying because I could ignore it that way, didn't have to feel it, and could get along with more people. So now the fears are coming out (I'm told this is what happens in early sobriety, it all comes boiling over) and it is only because I refuse to allow my fears and wounds to lead me into oppressing anyone that I haven't fallen into what's now called radfem. So yeah the fears of whoever was having them are founded. BUT I can promise you that I would NEVER intentionally use them against anyone. If anything, my awareness of my own penis-phobia and inclination - again, out of fear and desire to run from the source of the fear - has led me to push for rights, protection, and access for trans women... maybe over-compensation for what part of me would like to do... to run away and be with people who I think are just like me... which is a lie... partly 'cause I'm not cis either and partly 'cause cis women are just as dangerous as anyone else... and I know better than any of this... but when I'm triggered, as I've been the past week or two over the frequent anti-feminist stuff I was seeing posted or reblogged by queers and GMs (mostly he/him/his queers and GMs from what I saw) that's the place I go... to a place of running away from all he/him/his people... and I bitch about the penises of he/him/his people but don't clarify that it's only the penises of he/him/his people not she/her/hers people... and I want to run away to be with only she/her/hers people... but don't clarify that I'm including trans women in there... because I'm triggered and being careless... and wow I didn't mean for this to be so intense.
So this was a deep piece... lots of thought mulling around... awakenings and deeper understandings of not only self but the world.
The back story is that I had posted some things to my facebook page that frightened another GM (gender minority person) because it seemed to them to be radfem. It was not written with that intent... at least not in any real way... but still had an impact on the person who read it. I'm still not clear of where the boundaries are... where is it a case of don't say this vs. deal with your triggers... or if there is a clear boundary... 'cause sometimes what is safety for one person is danger for another and vice versa... so for now I've taken a step out of that community until I get to know myself better... become more aware and stronger in my own truths, able to stand behind my truths while also being mindful of others' truths. That will be an adventure in and of itself.
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